Emotional maturity, Part 4: Feelings are not facts

In the last post, I discussed the idea that your feelings are a kind of cognition (thinking). They are a calculation that sorts through an incredible amount of input data, identifies what's most important, and distills it down into a simple yes/no or want/do not want. And they can be amazingly accurate at picking up …

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Emotional maturity, Part 3: Feelings are amazingly useful

So far I've talked about how most of your thinking takes place in the subconscious, out of reach from your conscious mind. But what's actually going on down there? How are our feelings created? I like to imagine that feelings are the result of a thought process. Your brain takes in information about the world, …

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Emotional maturity, Part 2: Subconscious beliefs

In the last post I talked about how most of your feelings are hidden, buried in your subconscious mind until you dredge them up. But feelings aren't the only things in your subconscious. You also have a lot of ideas and beliefs about who you are and how the world works. Some of them have …

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Emotional maturity, Part 1: Subconscious feelings

You can't read your own mind. Most of what goes on in your head is subconscious. That means that you aren't aware of it. In other words, you can't read your own mind. For me, this is clearest when I'm doing mathematical research. Math at this level is the intellectual equivalent of power-lifting. When an …

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What is emotional maturity?

In the next several posts, I would like to talk about emotional maturity and emotional intelligence. How can we better understand our feelings and relate to other people in our lives? My current understanding of this is centered around three core ideas: Feelings exist (but most of them are invisible).Feelings are not facts (but they …

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